Except, they're not, and you know better.
Almost all of them are smart, astute, and ambitious. And they have plans—that's why they hired you.
What they aren't is knowledgeable about web design, which makes them ignorant, not stupid. They probably have a limited design vocabulary. They don’t “get” white space or visual hierarchy. They’ve only ever considered the fonts that ship with MS Office 97. None of that is their fault, again, it’s why they hired you; their ignorance is your paycheck. But that doesn’t give you the right to insult them behind their backs.
A client doesn’t know that Comic Sans is the favorite target of every amateur typographer’s pot shots, so when they ask for it, they don’t think, “heh, this’ll really get that prissy designer’s goat;” they’re simply trying to communicate an idea; they want Comic Sans because they want to look approachable or fun. That’s the real message they mean to convey, but they’re bogged down in details, and by the queerest bit of bad luck, these particular details turn us into condescending assholes. It’s like PeeWee Herman’s playhouse, and the secret word is “Papyrus.”
When the client asks for Papyrus, they’re not making a ridiculous request, it only seems ridiculous to us because we know how ubiquitous Papyrus is, and because we read so much of a site that, let’s be honest, just makes fun of people who don’t know.
Our clients hired us to help them find their way, not freak out when they misstep. The trick, and the mark of a professional, is to hear what the client is trying to say and respond to that. Point out that Papyrus is really overused and suggest an alternative. Maybe Mariposa or ITC Cancione. Your client will thank you for helping them avoid a cliché and you’ll end up with a finished project you can stand to put in your portfolio.
Sure, there are clients who think they know better. Everyone thinks they’re a designer, right? But everyone also thinks they have an idea for a Hollywood Blockbuster, the Great American Novel, and the fix for the nation’s woes-of-the-moment. Every plumber has had to deal with a “handyman” homeowner peering over his shoulder. Every mechanic has had to undo the damage done by her customer’s well-meaning but incompetent brother-in-law. It’s the way of work in a world were everyone can try his hand at everything, and simply being paid to do something doesn’t make you an authority in it.
You’re going to have to earn your clients’ respect and trust, and it may not always be easy. Some of the clients from hell seem to think a custom website can be had for a couple hundred dollars. That’s not their fault either; help them understand why it’s worth more. Just as a Hyundai and a Lexus may look alike to someone who doesn’t know, our clients may not at first understand what makes our work different from a Blogger template. Want to be treated like a professional? Act like it. Want authority? Here’s your chance to pull up your britches and earn it.
Reading “Clients from Hell” inculcates us with a sense of superiority, and not only that but a tendency to overreact to a client’s innocent requests or questions. Knock it off.